These days it seems I am perpetually behind on everything. Work, class, life...it's all the same. Too few hours in the day. I'm thinking I may need a course in time management...except, I don't know when I'd have time to take it.
Anyway, I've become determined to stop whining and just get some things done. I thought that since we've passed the halfway point of 2011, (wow, that was quick) that I'd take stock of the 2011 list and see where I am. I think the thing that's interesting about the list is how it changes over time. I've updated it, complete with color-coding...so take a look at what I've been up to and what I want to get into. Click here or on the tab above to see the list.
And, thanks for being so supportive all the time. Having friends and family like y'all makes a hectic life a full and happy one.
Hugs,
Rach
Friday, September 23, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
Another Monday
The start of another long week. So much to do. I really don't even know where to begin. Maybe with a list. Ugh...I hate Mondays. (See below for a graphical representation of my feelings on this wretched day of the week.) Oh well, no use putting it off any longer, time to get started.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
All it takes...
is one really neat old pan, a couple of eggs, and some good conversation to make a happy Rachel.
It's going to be a good and productive day. :)
It's going to be a good and productive day. :)
Friday, June 24, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Excitement Up, Productivity Down
Nine days. Only nine days and I'll be on the road with the Burds, traveling to see our friends in West Virginia. This will be my first trip to West Virginia and you know what that means...yep another state off the list. I knocked off Arizona earlier in the month, but more on that later.
Right now, I'm just sitting at my desk and getting nothing done because I'm so jazzed about a road trip. I'm looking forward to spending some time with people I love and miss. I want to see how big the kids have gotten. I want to laugh when the trash talkers lose at cornhole. I want to see the places they live and work and know what their lives are like since leaving UA. I want to reconnect and to know that no matter the time or distance between, we remain friends. I want there to be laughter, and alcohol and good stories.
Oh, and just one more thing...maybe, some sunshine? Yeah, I hear it rains...a lot.
Right now, I'm just sitting at my desk and getting nothing done because I'm so jazzed about a road trip. I'm looking forward to spending some time with people I love and miss. I want to see how big the kids have gotten. I want to laugh when the trash talkers lose at cornhole. I want to see the places they live and work and know what their lives are like since leaving UA. I want to reconnect and to know that no matter the time or distance between, we remain friends. I want there to be laughter, and alcohol and good stories.
Oh, and just one more thing...maybe, some sunshine? Yeah, I hear it rains...a lot.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
The Perils of Deep-Sea Diving...
Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! I was having a bad day, so I took a small break and now I'm totally happy again! I had gotten behind on all the usual blogs, so I was going backward through posts at needlenoodles {Christen Haden is a creative genius} and I think a trip to etsy is going to be necessary. I NEED these patterns! Oh the shear joy...well, see for yourself. (and if deep space thrills you more than the deep sea, check these out, I'm especially fond of the space worm!)
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Morning again...
Seems like the days are slipping by faster lately...those mornings just keep coming. Doesn't seem to matter how much or little I sleep. Doesn't seem to matter what I do or don't accomplish. Sun up, sun down. That's how it goes. I'm inclined to put on the brakes...if only that were actually possible. {insert wistful sigh here}
Capturing Jake
"So, why don't you like cameras Jake?"
"I believe they steal little pieces of your soul.", he says in his best straight man voice. I know he's full of it though. Like always, I can tell.
"Try again", I say.
He pushes it, says "It's a moment frozen in time." "I never like to look at pictures, because those moments are gone and you can't get them back."
Now, this is closer to the truth. There's something more though and I can't put my finger on it. He's definitely more than a little uncomfortable in front of the lens.
Now I push it. "Let me take a few more. Please." He declines. I wheedle...and steer the walk where I want it to go. When I get him there, he gives in. Because we're friends. Because we have trust. Because we're both struggling though.
I talk, to distract him, about his niece. He's still uncomfortable, but it works a little. You can see the shift in his eyes. His love for her holds him for a couple of frames and he's never looked better.
Now all I have to do is convince him.
"I believe they steal little pieces of your soul.", he says in his best straight man voice. I know he's full of it though. Like always, I can tell.
"Try again", I say.
He pushes it, says "It's a moment frozen in time." "I never like to look at pictures, because those moments are gone and you can't get them back."
Now, this is closer to the truth. There's something more though and I can't put my finger on it. He's definitely more than a little uncomfortable in front of the lens.
Now I push it. "Let me take a few more. Please." He declines. I wheedle...and steer the walk where I want it to go. When I get him there, he gives in. Because we're friends. Because we have trust. Because we're both struggling though.
I talk, to distract him, about his niece. He's still uncomfortable, but it works a little. You can see the shift in his eyes. His love for her holds him for a couple of frames and he's never looked better.
Now all I have to do is convince him.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
what was I thinking?!!!!
Somebody tell me, please. Just what the hell was going through my head when I did that? When I said that? When I thought that?
Wow. I guess the bright side would be that at least I'm spontaneous...so much so that I may combust.
Wow. I guess the bright side would be that at least I'm spontaneous...so much so that I may combust.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Happy to be me...
I am really. Most days.
But then, there are few days – ones like today, where something happens that derails me a bit. Most days I don’t think about being alone. And on the days that I do think about it, I mostly think it’s ok. I like to focus on the good things that come from it. Like yellow walls and quilts covered in butterflies and empty containers that don’t get put back in the fridge.
Sometimes though, I can’t escape myself. For the past few days I’ve been thinking about relationships. And I use the term “relationship” broadly. Romance, friendship, family, professional.
I’ve always thought I was pretty good at relationships, but what I think I actually am is good with people. In looking at my relationships over the past few days, I’ve come to realize that I’m good at giving support and comfort to others. And I really think that is one of my most admirable traits, but where does that leave me? At the moment, frustrated and feeling unsupported.
So, I started to wonder why that happens. Why the imbalance of give and take? Took me a hot minute, but I got there. It’s me. I’m overstating my relationships…especially those with friends. I don’t want to change who I am…a person who loves easily and gives without reservation. I have no intention of sounding full of myself here, I have plenty of faults and believe me, I couldn’t be more aware of them. But, I am that person. You know, the one everybody feels comfortable talking to. And I can absolutely admit that I get something positive from that. It makes me happy that my friends feel they can trust me with whatever is going on in their lives. I hope I’m pretty good at advice and direction.
The problem is, I expect that same level of love and respect in return. Not reasonable. You can’t make or expect other people to love and respect you.
Oh and in case you haven’t picked up on this, I’m tactile. Touch is how I express and (here’s the kicker) receive affection, love, respect, admiration, affirmation, comraderie…get it? The lack of it is how I can feel completely alone even when I’m in a crowded room. Just FYI.
Ugh, I realize I probably sound psycho right now, so let me just wrap this rant or whatever it is up before someone calls the men in white coats.
But then, there are few days – ones like today, where something happens that derails me a bit. Most days I don’t think about being alone. And on the days that I do think about it, I mostly think it’s ok. I like to focus on the good things that come from it. Like yellow walls and quilts covered in butterflies and empty containers that don’t get put back in the fridge.
Sometimes though, I can’t escape myself. For the past few days I’ve been thinking about relationships. And I use the term “relationship” broadly. Romance, friendship, family, professional.
I’ve always thought I was pretty good at relationships, but what I think I actually am is good with people. In looking at my relationships over the past few days, I’ve come to realize that I’m good at giving support and comfort to others. And I really think that is one of my most admirable traits, but where does that leave me? At the moment, frustrated and feeling unsupported.
So, I started to wonder why that happens. Why the imbalance of give and take? Took me a hot minute, but I got there. It’s me. I’m overstating my relationships…especially those with friends. I don’t want to change who I am…a person who loves easily and gives without reservation. I have no intention of sounding full of myself here, I have plenty of faults and believe me, I couldn’t be more aware of them. But, I am that person. You know, the one everybody feels comfortable talking to. And I can absolutely admit that I get something positive from that. It makes me happy that my friends feel they can trust me with whatever is going on in their lives. I hope I’m pretty good at advice and direction.
The problem is, I expect that same level of love and respect in return. Not reasonable. You can’t make or expect other people to love and respect you.
Oh and in case you haven’t picked up on this, I’m tactile. Touch is how I express and (here’s the kicker) receive affection, love, respect, admiration, affirmation, comraderie…get it? The lack of it is how I can feel completely alone even when I’m in a crowded room. Just FYI.
Ugh, I realize I probably sound psycho right now, so let me just wrap this rant or whatever it is up before someone calls the men in white coats.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Just F**K!
Dear Universe,
Rest assured, I hear you.
Dear Brain,
I really hate feeling this way, so knock it off please
Rest assured, I hear you.
Dear Brain,
I really hate feeling this way, so knock it off please
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
music lyrics...
We’ve all had certain songs that speak to us in some way. Evoke a memory of a place or a moment in time. Bring a smile or a tear. I think the best songs, the ones with thoughtful lyrics and a tune that carries us, can sometimes reveal us to ourselves. And that’s where I am today. So, I’m sharing the lyrics of this song with you. And here are the questions I’m asking myself: Why am I waiting? Would I even know the perfect moment if it presented itself? Am I always going to be telling myself it isn’t the right time? Will I ever be ready? For those of you thinking I’m talking about a romantic relationship, I’m not. I’m talking about life, about living it without fear of failure. I had an excellent conversation with a very good friend tonight. He’s such an inspiration to me. He’s brave and bold and ambitious. He has many other wonderful characteristics, but these are the ones I admire most and it’s these that motivate my declaration that I’d like to be more like him. Fearless. Willing to believe that I can succeed. Willing to give it my all and accept the outcome, whatever it may be. I’m excellent at listening and giving advice when it comes to those I care for…why then, am I so unwilling or unable to do that in my own life? And will someone please step into the void? What are your greatest fears? What dream do you want to will into existence? And what are you waiting for?
Never Be Ready by Mat Kearney
We got our feet on the wire
Talking ’bout flying
Maybe we’re diving in over our heads
Scared of what I’m feeling
Staring at the ceiling
Here tonight
Come on and lay down these arms
All our best defenses
We’re taking our chances here on the run
The fear is an anchor
Time is a stranger
Love isn’t borrowed
We aren’t promised tomorrow
We’ll never be ready if we keep waiting
For the perfect time to come
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready
When we don’t know, though we can’t see
Just walk on down this road with me
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready
You’re OK here with me
Here in the silence
With all of the violence crashing around
Saying we can’t go
Saying we don’t know
This road that is narrow is the one we should follow
We’ll never be ready if we keep waiting
For the perfect time to come
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready
When we don’t know, though we can’t see
Just walk on down this road with me
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready
Steady my hands this one could turn around
Steady my heart, it’s beating faster
Steady my hands this one could turn around
Steady my heart, it’s beating faster
Beating faster now
We’ll never be ready if we keep waiting
For the perfect time to come
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready
When we don’t know, though we can’t see
Just walk on down this road with me
Hold me steady, never be ready
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready
Never Be Ready by Mat Kearney
We got our feet on the wire
Talking ’bout flying
Maybe we’re diving in over our heads
Scared of what I’m feeling
Staring at the ceiling
Here tonight
Come on and lay down these arms
All our best defenses
We’re taking our chances here on the run
The fear is an anchor
Time is a stranger
Love isn’t borrowed
We aren’t promised tomorrow
We’ll never be ready if we keep waiting
For the perfect time to come
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready
When we don’t know, though we can’t see
Just walk on down this road with me
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready
You’re OK here with me
Here in the silence
With all of the violence crashing around
Saying we can’t go
Saying we don’t know
This road that is narrow is the one we should follow
We’ll never be ready if we keep waiting
For the perfect time to come
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready
When we don’t know, though we can’t see
Just walk on down this road with me
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready
Steady my hands this one could turn around
Steady my heart, it’s beating faster
Steady my hands this one could turn around
Steady my heart, it’s beating faster
Beating faster now
We’ll never be ready if we keep waiting
For the perfect time to come
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready
When we don’t know, though we can’t see
Just walk on down this road with me
Hold me steady, never be ready
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready
Hold me steady, we’ll never be ready
Friday, January 14, 2011
Alone is okay
My good friend Irasema has a post on her blog with a video that I think is thoughtful and uplifting so I wanted share it. Click here if you're interested. These days it seems like I'm getting better at being single. Sure, it has it's ups and downs. I mean, I love that my bedroom is yellow and my quilt has butterflies. But I do sorta miss having someone tall enough to reach the top cabinets or change the light bulb in the hallway. It's ok though, that's why step ladders were invented. I guess the best thing being single has taught me is that I'm ok on my own. I can take care of me. I have my own unique and incredible thoughts. I don't need to be completed, I'm whole on my own.
It wasn't so long ago that I felt like my world was falling apart. But the thing about being human is that we have an uncanny ability to survive even the most difficult heartbreak. Just because it was amicable doesn't mean it was easy. That thing about time healing all wounds is true. Really it is. Each day, I rediscover something about myself. And that is the thing time alone has given me above all others.
Irasema, thank you for finding and posting this awesome video. And thanks for the compliment. You are one of the people that helped my heart mend and I am grateful.
It wasn't so long ago that I felt like my world was falling apart. But the thing about being human is that we have an uncanny ability to survive even the most difficult heartbreak. Just because it was amicable doesn't mean it was easy. That thing about time healing all wounds is true. Really it is. Each day, I rediscover something about myself. And that is the thing time alone has given me above all others.
Irasema, thank you for finding and posting this awesome video. And thanks for the compliment. You are one of the people that helped my heart mend and I am grateful.
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